I have an acquaintance who comes by my work on his way to an AA meeting. I deeply admire this man for his commitment to bettering himself by recognizing his weakness and tackling it head on, even if pride and social situations may hinder that for most. He inspires me every time I talk to him to continue to keep my health in my best interest, and I went in to his place of business last night, Torchy's Tacos - my favorite place to eat in Austin - and gave him a ridiculous order. When I sat down to wait, we talked for a bit, and I explained to him my medical situation and he understood. I realized we are both struggling with addictions and we have to face every day with the decision of whether or not to feed them or deny them for our overall well being.
That said, I went to a wedding tonight and I had some wine and champagne. Phil's Ice House was catering burgers and chicken sandwiches. I had a piece of chicken and a hamburger patty. Both of them were wrapped with lettuce. I went back for sweet potato fries later and gave my regular potato fries to sweet, little Audrey. There were cake and cupcakes. I wanted them, but I am too weak to have a taste. The drinking I could have done without one or 2, but I allowed myself to indulge in those instead of attacking the wedding cake. For me right now, one bite = a month-long carb and sweets craving, it seems.
Work has been difficult lately because I keep wanting to take an extra pastry out for myself. I used to do that, but it is getting a little easier. I just know how great things taste and I want them all the time. I can't, though.
More and more people are beginning to find out about my situation, and I'm glad. It isn't anything to be ashamed of, but it does feel a little strange when it is such an open topic around strangers. I don't mind it so much, really, but I do know that the more my closest friends know, the more they can be mindful to help keep me in the mindset I am in and help me stay on track. I need the support right now.
Another thing to note is that I have been extremely busy lately, and busy makes me eat out more. I've been pretty strict for the most part, but I hope I can continue that for when I go home on Thursday. I may need to get something extra for when I go visit my g-ma and that side of the family next weekend. I am really excited!
My scale isn't working today. It likes to be a bit temperamental, but I weighed a few days ago and it was something like 246. Not too bad!
As far as exercising goes, I worked out a LOT on my birthday, which was really awesome. (Oh and I had some ice cream on my birthday and some sopapilla! It was super yummy but not too much.)
This past week, I have done. . .
1 hour of yoga
and 45 minutes of workout at 24-hour fitness.
This week, I've already got some dancing under my belt from, so bring on the exercise!