Disclaimers!

Ok, guys. I'm going to hash a few things out right now. *best cheerleader voice* Ready?! Ok!

1) This blog is about brutal honesty. It is the place where I come to let people know about my health topics and concerns. It is the place where I try things out and let people know how I felt about them, how I connected with them, and what I learned, etc. This especially includes what I learn about myself. Whatever comes to my mind, I will share. I reserve that right. I also reserve the right to censor myself, but I will not censor myself at the will of someone else.

2) This blog does not have anything to do with my business. Yes, I may talk about my business because, occasionally, I do allow myself to have an unhealthy relationship with it at times (Hi! I'm an entrepeneur!), but this blog is not to be connected with my business as a whole. It is a separate entity, and I trust you will view it as such.

3) Even if I talk about health concerns regarding my body, including losing weight, my view of beauty and my personal body image does not conform to a societal standpoint. What I'm really trying to say is that I believe all people are beautiful - it doesn't matter how big or small or tall or short or what color any person may be, I believe that all people are beautiful in their own special, unique, individual ways. My standard of beauty will always be this. That said, I will always believe that I am beautiful, at any size, now and forever, no matter what.

4) If you'd like to date me, that's great. This may not be the best place to get to know me, unless you really would like to know the weird depths of my heart without me telling you first. I know I'm great and awesome and all that and a bag of (kale) chips, but stop stalking me and start calling me if you're into me. On the flipside, if you thought you were into me until you read this blog, I'm actually completely fine with that, and thank you for not calling me. [See! Everything works out. :)]

5) I want to hear from my readers! I may not get back to everyone in the most timely manner because, well, that's just how I roll sometimes, but feel free to comment or send me messages. I get messages almost every time I update, and that is so encouraging to me. I love knowing that my voice is being heard and that I'm not alone, so feel free to share with me anything you'd like! I want you to feel heard as well. However, I'm not a therapist, nor have I ever claimed to be, so take everything I say with a grain of whiskey. [Providing awesome advice already! Way to go, A!]

6) I may talk about the things I'm trying here, but most of it is experimental. There are only a few things that I actually believe I could stick to, but really, I'm just here to share. I am not blogging to spread any sort of propaganda. I'm just a lady, talking about her body. That's really it. You don't have to do what I do, but I may encourage you to get yourself in check if you feel you may need to. If I set an example for you, that is wonderful! If I don't, that's wonderful, too! Either way, thank you for reading.

That's all I can really think of at the moment! Many thanks to my aunt for reminding me that I should make this post. I hope it clears up any confusion for those who may be reading this! I heart you all, and I'm excited to make another post in the near future.

<3.

A

Documentaries will kick your ass. Lesson learned.

My roommate encouraged me to start a 60 day juice fast with her - after I watched the documentary "Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead." I fought the idea in lots of ways, but then I actually decided to see what her tarot cards said in order to make a decision. I am totally not kidding - I used Gaia Oracle tarot cards to show me the answer, and there it was, pretty much plain as day. The next step was to watch the documentary.

I'm playing the film for the second time as I type this. I strongly believe in repetition as a way of learning, so I will most likely play the film on repeat for the upcoming days, and then some more as we start our fast just as a motivator. 60 days of no chewing is going to be difficult, but I've actually done something like this before.

During the summer of my 6th-7th grade transition, I did a smoothie fast for 40 days, or at least, close to 40 days. I was excited, but nervous, especially about my cheerleading camp that summer. I wondered if I would have enough energy to do everything that was required of me at camp. It turned out that I had more energy than I'd ever had before, and I ended up becoming one of the 2 UCA All-Star Cheerleaders from our squad. Now, I realize this was just cheerleading - as a middle schooler - but this was huge. I was never one to win anything athletic, and I remember being able to do things that week I had never done before... and haven't done since, truth be told. I did jumps like I weighed 75 lbs. I truly surprised myself.

Fast forward to a year and a few months later, I was diagnosed with Insulin Resistance (aka Metabolic Syndrome, Syndrome X, Prediabetes, etc.) after telling my mom I had chin hairs like she did. She didn't believe me until I showed them to her (I would pull them out, so we had to wait for them to grow in again for proof), so we went to the doctor, did some blood work and many, many tests (I've got NO LOVE for glucose tolerance tests!), and the diagnosis was made for both of us. It was saddening, and I remember my doctor telling me that if I continued down the path I was on, I would develop cancer and not be able to bear children. That was a pretty sad truth for a 14-year-old.

I'm 26 now. I exercise often. I eat pretty well whenever I cook at home, which can be sometimes infrequent. I drink a ton of coffee. I don't sleep very much. I feel pretty good most of the time, but there are times where I don't. I'm constantly craving rest and often lacking energy. My weight has gone up, many thanks to my lack of self-control at Christmas (homemade cookies by old Southern ladies were my ultimate weakness), but I'm not concerned about my weight, really. Perhaps, I should be as there is a direct correlation between the number on the scale and my Insulin Resistance, which has led to Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, which has led to Hirsutism - the cause of the hair on my chinny chin chin. Ok. So, maybe I am concerned about my weight a bit more since I put it that way.

This documentary started out with a man believing that his body could heal itself. He proved that it can. I believe that it can as well. I believe that my Insulin Resistance, Polycystic Ovarian Syndrom, Hirsutism, Chondromalacia Patella, Heel Spurs, and herniated L4/L5 spinal disk will heal themselves. I'll jump start that process on February 13 for 60 days.

I'm excited. :)

Big word, big responsibility

So, I may have commitment issues. I'm sure this comes as no surprise to people who know me. I like to try new things, see how I like them, and then I discover newer things and start the same process over again. Routine is not something I've ever admired. I adore change. I'm Sagittarius, what can I say? Free-spirited. Exploratory. Open minded. Needless to say, commitment is one of the scariest words ever uttered.

It took a while for me to fully commit to and assume the responsibility of my business, but as a natural entrepreneur, it didn't take too much. I have found that I may over-commit to my business, allowing my health and relationships to fall by the way side and ultimately, creating a pretty major imbalance. It's pretty obvious how my commitment issues are affecting my life, namely my health.

And then my roommate and I adopted a puppy- a living, breathing, super adorable puppy named Fitzgerald, who now simultaneously scratches at the door of her kennel and at the door of my once unchained heart. That's a huge commitment, literally barking at my face. It is terrifying. BUT! It's a great thing.

Fitzgerald is a puppy, as you know, and puppies need training. This training process isn't just for her, but it's for me, too. There is a schedule involved. Repetition is an important tool. As she adjusts to what to do, what not to do, when and where to do what, etc., I'm also adjusting to being one of the providers for her new lifestyle of being our puppy. This process is making me see the importance of schedules and routines and the roles they play in a healthy, happy lifestyle for myself. Discipline, discernment, and guidance are 3 things I'm learning to administer and obtain at the same time. We've had her less than a week, but I definitely feel as though I've grown as a human just as she has grown as a puppy. (She's the most adorable thing ever, by the way. Check up on her at her very own tumblr.)

There will be many adventures as I reflect on this creature's co-dependence on my life. I feel like a parent in a way, which I'm sure is still pretty far off from real parenting with real kids. After all, I am still a real person with a real puppy! Stay tuned for some pretty adorable madness.

(I love this dog so, so much, you guys. Seriously.)