It's been a year since I shaved my head, and oooooh, what a year it has been! It's truly amazing to take a look back at a journey of 365ish days and be grateful for where you are, what you've experienced, and who you've become in just one year. This year, I really pushed the Play button on my life.
I grew up a lot. I mean, really a lot. I learned how to organize and clean my house on a consistent basis. [Read: Huge accomplishment.] I learned how to be mindful of how my actions affect others, including my hoarding tendencies. I purged my belongings, twice. I have experienced 4 different roommates coming and going, along with a few animals, and a transition from a studio space to working in my garage. I hated my home when I first moved here; now, I've really come to love it. I learned to love sweating. I learned to love drinking water! I took a step back from my business. I accomplished several fitness goals. I learned how to deal with death in a healthy way. I started a band and began writing music again for the first time in years. I made friends. (You know, like usual. "Hey, cool hair! Errr, well, you know what I mean.") I confused people. (Again, like usual. "Do you have cancer?" "Are you dying?" "What's wrong? Should I be scared that you don't have hair all of a sudden?!") I became more vulnerable. I cried more than ever. I started paying my own bills with the money I made as opposed to my parents helping me out with everything. I wrote and I sang and I danced and I fell in love and I fell out of love and I got hurt and I forgave and, most of all, I learned to love it all. I fought a lot of things as I grew up in the past, but somehow over this year, I learned how to accept more things with grace... and maybe a tiny fight. As soon as I equated "success" with "change," that made all the difference. This idea was present with my nonexistent to slowly growing follicles. Everything became a little easier because I knew my purpose here was to grow with my hair, and I believe that I did just that.
When I shaved my head, I had no idea what would really happen to me on the inside. I knew I wanted to "see myself for the first time," which I did. I really did, too. I saw my imperfections. I saw my vanity. I saw my weaknesses. I saw all of my hiding places. I also saw my strength. I saw my purpose. I saw my place in the world as a child of God. I even saw God, somehow, in myself, somewhere. I saw how far I still need to go and accepted it and committed to it.
This journey has been beautiful and painful and joyful and honest and ugly and scary and exciting and very, very, VERY real. The point of it all was for me to know myself and love myself completely, and I've become more of the person I have always wanted to be, uncovering a tiny part of who I am to see the whole of myself, this She of God - the Ultimate Source of Light, of Love. I opened my crown to receive the gifts of Life that my Creator has bestowed upon me, to foster them, to share them. There is still quite a journey ahead of me. This is still very close to the starting place. I'm grateful for the opening of my eyes and heart through the removal of tired, abused, thirsty, brittle, pretty-on-the-outside tresses, making way for the Love, Light, health, beauty, abundance, energy, and strength that now inhabits that nurtured space on my scalp as well as inside my revitalized, re-energized, love-pumping heart. I knew I was changing my life, I just didn't know how it was going to play out. I trusted that this was something I needed to do, so I answered that calling and here I am! Happier [Cue the waterworks!], more resilient, and full of joy - my joy.
What's next for me? I'm writing a book about my sugar addiction, I've recently become a Zumba instructor, I'm planning my bike tour, and soon, I will become a weight loss and nutrition coach. I am really looking forward to embracing this new lifestyle of learning and teaching others to find and embrace their own health journeys, and most importantly, to reconcile themselves with their bodies and their lives. I've personally seen how it can change your life (Duh! This blog talks about all of it, obvi!!!), and I am excited to encourage others!
Woooo! Serious post! Definitely worth it. Thanks for reading, and I like you. :)