Friday, November 9, 2012

A moment of gratitude.

Sitting at my kitchen table just now, I found a pink strand of hair that was clinging to a placemat that my date and I used last night. It was lying there as if to say, "I'll just be here when you take a moment to notice me." Little pink follicle, I definitely see you this morning, and I am grateful for your fleeting presence here.

I picked up the piece of hair, and when I touched it, part of me felt sorry for the way I treated it. There is an immediately recognizable difference between this hair and the new, natural hair that I've been growing. The old hair is brittle, lifeless, and obviously damaged, whereas the new is soft, thick, and luscious. As I wrap it around my finger and play with it a little bit, I realize I could easily break the frail, pink follicle, but something in me says that I've injured it enough, to let it rest and just be itself until it disappears or I simply throw it away.

I just started dating an incredible man named Tim. Our relationship is still fresh out of the box, but I feel really, really good and confident about this one. I've requested that we take it slow and make no major declarations for a while as in the past, some of you may have noticed, I tend to rush things. I've spent my whole life rushing things and, in a way, manufacturing my own happiness (represented here by my pink hair), bypassing the natural progressions that are beautiful, essential, and often times complex yet also so simple. Last night, we had wine, made 2 amazing pizzas, and enjoyed each other's company, slowly and joyfully. Our time was delicious and sweet, with the Italian traditional music as our background noise and each other as our comedic and romantic audience. Slow, beautiful, natural, happy, healthy.

My hair has taught me so many things in the short 2 months that it has been growing back and coming into its own. One rather unspoken reason why I decided to start over with my hair was because it directly ties into my own quest for love as opposed to lust or the disillusion of forged, impatient "love." I've processed, forgiven, and released my most recent past relationships for what they have taught me, especially where I rushed and manufactured things along the way. The pink hair that I found this morning is a tangible reminder of the journey that has led me to this path of natural, steady growth in all areas of my life, but especially my relationships. I'm grateful for its gentle reminder, and I wish it well on its own quiet, little voyage elsewhere.

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