One thing I'm majorly considering for this journey is to write a book entitled "Death & Sugar." Sounds morbid, but it will detail "one lady's journey through diabetes and finding her way on the other side." Or something like that. Or nothing like that. Who knows?! But I like the "Death & Sugar" bit, so don't steal it. Or I'll cut you. (Not really, but pretend I'm serious because that would be a pretty bitchy thing to do.)
I took a baby vacation a few weeks ago to reset. I did yoga, meditated, read, detoxed with some raw food, slept a lot. It was a grand idea, and then I had a really rough week full of depressing situations and stupid lies I started believing about myself via business schtuff. I'm super glad that week is over because the truth is that life is gonna throw some curve balls at you, regardless of whether or not you just started eating healthy again. Ugh, right? The good news is that I got through it (thanx to friends!!!).
So here's what's up, baby bubba:
+I'm learning to trust Erin, my trainer, more and more. I really started to fight her pretty hard there for a while because a) I'm a stubborn little bitch, b) I go through bouts of denial [Read: Danger for a prediabetic!], and c) I haven't known her for that long and we aren't "like, OMG, besties." I have trust issues, ok? But I came to terms with them in time for her to really start making an impact on my life. She seriously means well and she wants to help me not have missing toes and heart attacks and really serious, life-threatening, bad stuff one day. If that's not as awesome as a "bestie," then I don't know what is! She seriously rocks - and her patience (Hi. She deals with ME, here.) - is outstanding.
+Dietlandia: I also gave in and instead of just thinking about it every year, I actually gave up sugar for Lent. Oh wait, I gave up more than just sugar. Ready? I gave up sugar AND artificial sugar, even the natural stuff. I am only allowing fruit and moderate amounts of honey. (It's ok to breathe. Are you still alive?) It's quite a shock - and actually, it's not that hard... so far. I'm learning SO MUCH about natural sugars that exist in other foods. Like milk - that junk is sweet on its own (you know, the organic kind)! I never tasted the delicious sweetness quite like I did the other night. It was quite the discovery. So, other than denying all of my sweet teeth their cravings, I'm eating healthier in general. This means lean meats, fresh veggies, fruit, and limited carbs/starches/etc. I bought myself some steak to bring all of this home. And so I would force myself to clean my grill. :D
+In addition to seeing Erin twice a week, I try to stretch/do some form of yoga every morning and go for a walk on the days I don't see her. It is currently SXSW, so that makes getting a good walk in pretty easy, but the real test will be when it's all over. I had some really bad back problems happen (and re-occurred yesterday), so this part is pretty serious to me, especially right now.
That's today. I've got plans for the future, too! Check 'em out:
+I'm gonna try Bikram yoga. Yep. The girl who LOVES things to be sweet has given up sweetness, so now that same girl who HATES to be hot is going to subject herself to hot yoga. I might have to give myself a pep talk every day as I walk through the door, but I want to do the 30 for $30 thing at Sunstone at the Triangle. And then... I wanna try a 60 day challenge. (Who AM I?!) Chock all of this up to my girl, Marsha, at http://breathingalwaysnormal.com/ for educating me and giving me tons of wisdom, guidance, and support. That girl is such an inspiration!
+I haven't given up on my bike. (I have one again after the other one got stolen this summer... and I'm still bitter about that. But whatever, moving on. :{) I will try it again, but I think I'll need the Bikram to get myself in a little more shape. My back has to be a ton better before I try the bike for serious. Here's hoping!
+Prayer is pretty important to me, so I've tried to incorporate this into my daily life, especially when all of this becomes challenging. I'm finding so many ways to remind myself just how fortunate I am to be here, alive, and pretty well, for the most part. I have such an incredible support system with the friends and family who surround me. They know I can reach wellness one day. I just have to keep reminding myself. And being thankful. The Lord is good - and good things really do come to those who are patient. I'm working on patience and diligence, 2 hard words to practice, but I am running after them with all I've got.
Showing posts with label health. Show all posts
Showing posts with label health. Show all posts
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Monday, September 27, 2010
Routine and I don't get along.
Why is it so incredibly difficult to stick with a routine? I guess we are all creatures of habit, and my habit is that I do every day differently. I like that. However, it may no longer be healthy for me. So where does that leave me? Not in a good place.
I found out that becoming a Nia instructor is quite costly, so that's out for a while. There is a Zumba Basics 1 class - in Charleston - that I could take, but I don't know how that would go over. I think that needs to be a goal for next year, seeing as I have very limited funds. The truth is that I will have even more limited funds next year, but we will cross that bridge as it ices over.
I took a vacation and gained a bunch of weight. I felt really horrible most of the trip because I wasn't making the right choices that are best for my body. It's strange/awesome how I've learned a lot about listening to what your body tells you and taking some sort of initiative toward correcting what may be upsetting it. The Deep South is full of fried food and other stuff that isn't very good for you, so I had my share of battered and ugly for a while. I had some major damage control upon my return, and a trainer to kick my ass back into "shape."
So, I really love Erin - for many reasons. I knew what I had done on vacation and how it was going to effect me. I asked her if she was mad and she said she wasn't, but that I should be mad at myself. After that, I really was angry with myself, but glad that she said that and didn't blatantly point fingers. Her gentle honesty really put things into perspective for me. It's amazing how easily I can lose sight of that.
One thing that Erin tells me that I try so hard to remember every time I'm in a situation is that the bad things are like poison for my body. She also says that one day I can have that stuff on special occasions, but that I should limit my intake for now. It's difficult to hear that when you have a sweet tooth as big as mine, but it's very important advice for the future.
I'm hopeful. I keep giving this a shot, and I think as long as I keep trying that that's what matters the most. It's easier to give up, to be honest, but I am actually tired of giving up. I want this healthy routine. I have a future that I want to be brighter than ever, and the decisions I make today - and every day - are going to secure that.
Something I've been doing more often now is visualizing the future. I want to see a happy, healthy me who doesn't have to contend with back pain when there are little ones running around. I want to see an organized me. I want to see an even more creative me because all of these other things are in place. I want to see an inspired clientele, a thriving business, a warm, healthy home, and friends who don't worry about me. (I think I've given everyone a heart attack lately about different things. It's not intentional, but I have issues that pile up that make the people I love the most really nervous.)
So, I'm trying to do an overhaul of everything. I am cleaning out a lot of clutter to do some emotional purging because I've been watching "Hoarders" and "Hoarding: Buried Alive," and I identify with a lot of the people on these shows. I have always just accumulated - stuff, friends, pounds, love, etc. - and I think there's a lot of good when you stop accumulating and, in some cases, start giving things away. I've given a lot of stuff to my friend Becky and to Goodwill to give myself more room to breathe. I've cut some ties with friends recently because they were poisonous relationships. I've gotten over past relationships because the things I held onto were, again, poisonous for my future relationships. I've been losing weight because the extra weight is contributing to a disease I am on the verge of having. I've been giving away more love instead of hoarding it because, well, it's just the right thing to do.
My hopes are that I will engage in a healthy routine to get me through the next 24 years of life and beyond. I want to make friends with this concept and let it carry me, relying on it and not allowing myself to give into the pressures of the world around me that can so easily taunt me into eating the forbidden fruits. I need to take it one day at a time. I really believe that I will get there.
I found out that becoming a Nia instructor is quite costly, so that's out for a while. There is a Zumba Basics 1 class - in Charleston - that I could take, but I don't know how that would go over. I think that needs to be a goal for next year, seeing as I have very limited funds. The truth is that I will have even more limited funds next year, but we will cross that bridge as it ices over.
I took a vacation and gained a bunch of weight. I felt really horrible most of the trip because I wasn't making the right choices that are best for my body. It's strange/awesome how I've learned a lot about listening to what your body tells you and taking some sort of initiative toward correcting what may be upsetting it. The Deep South is full of fried food and other stuff that isn't very good for you, so I had my share of battered and ugly for a while. I had some major damage control upon my return, and a trainer to kick my ass back into "shape."
So, I really love Erin - for many reasons. I knew what I had done on vacation and how it was going to effect me. I asked her if she was mad and she said she wasn't, but that I should be mad at myself. After that, I really was angry with myself, but glad that she said that and didn't blatantly point fingers. Her gentle honesty really put things into perspective for me. It's amazing how easily I can lose sight of that.
One thing that Erin tells me that I try so hard to remember every time I'm in a situation is that the bad things are like poison for my body. She also says that one day I can have that stuff on special occasions, but that I should limit my intake for now. It's difficult to hear that when you have a sweet tooth as big as mine, but it's very important advice for the future.
I'm hopeful. I keep giving this a shot, and I think as long as I keep trying that that's what matters the most. It's easier to give up, to be honest, but I am actually tired of giving up. I want this healthy routine. I have a future that I want to be brighter than ever, and the decisions I make today - and every day - are going to secure that.
Something I've been doing more often now is visualizing the future. I want to see a happy, healthy me who doesn't have to contend with back pain when there are little ones running around. I want to see an organized me. I want to see an even more creative me because all of these other things are in place. I want to see an inspired clientele, a thriving business, a warm, healthy home, and friends who don't worry about me. (I think I've given everyone a heart attack lately about different things. It's not intentional, but I have issues that pile up that make the people I love the most really nervous.)
So, I'm trying to do an overhaul of everything. I am cleaning out a lot of clutter to do some emotional purging because I've been watching "Hoarders" and "Hoarding: Buried Alive," and I identify with a lot of the people on these shows. I have always just accumulated - stuff, friends, pounds, love, etc. - and I think there's a lot of good when you stop accumulating and, in some cases, start giving things away. I've given a lot of stuff to my friend Becky and to Goodwill to give myself more room to breathe. I've cut some ties with friends recently because they were poisonous relationships. I've gotten over past relationships because the things I held onto were, again, poisonous for my future relationships. I've been losing weight because the extra weight is contributing to a disease I am on the verge of having. I've been giving away more love instead of hoarding it because, well, it's just the right thing to do.
My hopes are that I will engage in a healthy routine to get me through the next 24 years of life and beyond. I want to make friends with this concept and let it carry me, relying on it and not allowing myself to give into the pressures of the world around me that can so easily taunt me into eating the forbidden fruits. I need to take it one day at a time. I really believe that I will get there.
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