It's easy? That's weird.

I feel like I've finally come to the point where this "dieting" - rather, lifestyle change - feels kind of easy. I've read the South Beach Diet a few times, and this last time, I feel like something finally snapped and it almost seems natural.

I guess a big part of that is accepting the fact that this is going to be the rest of my life. That means, in a nutshell, I will have relatively the same eating habits for 60+ years. That's a really, really long time, and instead of looking at it like "God, do I really have to conform to the same foods for 60 years?!" (which isn't completely true) I look at it like "Hey, I'll get to run around with my grandchildren in 60 years instead of having my limbs removed from bad circulation from diabetes!" Granted, my case is a lot worse than some of my family members. It seems that when I got passed down the wonderful genes, it was saturated and therefore about 2 times the evil than for anyone else. And that's fine. It's a challenge! I love challenges, and this one I can overcome. I might even write a book about it one day. (I've been on an "I'm gonna write a book!" kick lately.)

Yesterday, I went to the doctor. They weighed me on the first visit, which was sometime this Summer. It was 250. I knew it was probably in that range, which is why weighing at the doctor during the holidays was sooo much *fun* (especially seeing her push it to 262). They weighed me yesterday at 251 (with clothes on), and the nurse was actually proud of me. (Same nurse who was kind of hitting on me one time... and shortly after started wearing a wedding band... Yeah.) It felt good to only have gained 1 lb, when I know in reality I gained a lot and lost a lot. It's just a really great feeling.

Pretty much my whole family is on a diet. I'm not sure how some of the diets will work out in the long run, but I am really encouraged that all of us are trying so hard to be healthy. This is probably the first time we've actually talked a bit more about exercise, too, and that's the part that makes me really pumped up about all of this. We have come to know ourselves as a sedentary eaters. We've more or less defined ourselves as such, which is so unhealthy, safe to say. I just get so excited that at least 9 of us have fairly recently made the commitment to take care of ourselves, and we are doing it together. Yes, some of us are on a bet, but it still works out that we are doing it together and that we talk about it. My cousin Austin just called me not too long ago to congratulate me on losing 12 lbs.! She has lost the same amount, and I am really proud of both of us. Another thing I'm really enjoying is our ability to be open and vulnerable with each other. We are posting our weight on the Facebook group, and weight is such a taboo thing to share. I'm just really happy for us. I truly hope this continues. It will be interesting to see how different holiday meals will be for us this upcoming year!

So, 13 lbs. down, 7 lbs. to go for my first mini goal, and 58 lbs. to go for my main goal. Feelin' good in the neighborhood! :)

A week later, I feel AMAZING!

I weighed at my doctor's about 2 weeks ago. It was 262. Today, I'm 253, so that's 9 lbs. lighter and I feel great already! My body doesn't ache nearly as much as it used to, and I've only lost 9 lbs. That's just crazy! But it's great. And I'll continue to do it.

I haven't done as much exercise since I've gotten back as I planned on doing, but that isn't an "I give up" thing, it's an "I'll do better" thing instead. I went bike shopping yesterday, and I may get one Monday or Tuesday, depending on a few factors, but definitely this week.

Something I found interesting yesterday was how easy it was to ride! I tried to ride the shitty bike Jason let me borrow (it's from Wal-mart and it's absolutely horrible) and I had a really tough time riding it. When I test rode some new bikes yesterday, they were SO EASY to ride! It was amazing the difference a good bike can make. I'm pretty excited about this new addition to my life. I think it will be really great for not only myself but also the environment. I live in an area that has so many wonderful things, and whenever I drive to them, it makes me feel not just lazy but very inconsiderate because I live so close yet I use my car to get there. I'm excited about the bike.

I'm excited about life. This is going to be good!

Another thing I think is really cool is that I'm trying all of these new dishes at restaurants I either have loved for a long time or have never been to before, and I gotta say, it has surely opened my eyes. I didn't realize the fish fajita at Polvo's would be THAT good, but it was incredible! I'm getting surprises every time I go out, and I definitely love surprises, especially those regarding food. (Food is just so great.) So, instead of feeling deprived, I feel adventurous, and that's something I am really having fun with.

Oh, and there's a bet going on. I had the idea to challenge my older brothers (we all love a good competition) to a weight loss competition, and I did this for 2 reasons: to help myself keep my healthy habits ongoing for more than 3 months and to have the support of someone else trying really hard with me. My brother, Chris, got his wife, Kristy, and her mom in on it, too, so now whoever wins the pot gets $800. The goal is to lose the most BMI/be the healthiest by Christmas 2010. I've already started and I'm doing really well. Chris and the gang start Monday, and I don't know when Reid starts, but what matters here is that we are doing something really great for ourselves together. Maybe one day, Owen and Evan can look back on what we've done and have a greater sense of family and what it takes to take care of ourselves while taking care of each other. In turn, hopefully, they can take notes and learn from our mistakes so they don't end up like the rest of America - fat, lazy, and full of health problems (there's more wrong with America, but I'll just touch on those things for the sake of argument).

Today sparks week 2 of my "lifestyle change," and I've gotten so much support from everyone that it is unbelievable. I've come to find that the people who love you want to see you succeed and they will do all they can to help you along the way. The truth is, however, that it's up to the individual to make the ultimate decision. I believe in myself and my capabilities. I've been entrusted with some really great things for my life, and I will fight to see them through - especially this part. My friend Courtney says, "2010, in for the win!" and I can't help but echo her on this voyage.

Heart attack, stroke, diabetes, organ failure, hypertension, blah blah blah

When am I going to finally get it? I feel like I understand things more and more, but I give up because, well, it's just too easy to not try. Right? But then I keep educating myself on the things that could happen to me later, things that are starting to happen to me right now, and I'm terrified. I see what my family members have gone through with how much pain they have experienced in their lives and how much they allowed their health issues hinder their joy. It seems so simple, but I seem to choose to be lazy. I can't do it anymore.

Here are the facts, the facts that I need to pay attention to - for once and for all.

I'm 24. I have insulin resistance (aka prediabetes) along with polycystic ovarian syndrome, hirsutism, chronic back pain from a herniated spinal disc, a fatty liver, a not-so-great knee, horrible acid reflux, and a heel spur. I think today I'm at 260. This isn't good. And the thing is that 7 out of the 8 things listed can be fixed with a lifestyle change of eating healthy and regularly exercising.

The worst thing about all of this is that it is only getting worse. I'm a wonderful candidate for cancer, heart problems, liver problems, etc. It's great. I'm staring death in the face every day that I decide to be a lazy sack of shit. A slow, debilitating, painful death. Even with a nice make-up job and cute hair, this face of death is not pretty.

So, that's what I'm up against. I realized the other night that when my faith is strongest, it is to get over something. I'm hoping that this time, my faith can get me through something. Changing your life for good is something I'm not great at, obviously, but I keep trying. I have to keep trying no matter what. It's serious. I have to be serious about it. Seriously. (Can I say "serious" again?)

Here's my "plan" for now:
Goal 1 - 20 lbs. by Mom's bday (Jan. 21st) as my gift to her
Goal 2 - 30 lbs. by Dad's bday party (Feb. 20) as my gift to him
Goal 3 - 45 lbs. by parents' anniversary (March 18) as my gift to them
Goal 4 - 50 lbs. by Memorial Day
Goal 5 - 60 lbs. by July 4th

I'll work on other goals after I complete the first 3 of those. I want it to be healthy, but I also just want to feel better. I need to sleep better, too, so I think this should definitely help!

So, needless to say, I'll be doing the South Beach Diet again because I love that diet. I also want to do yoga, start my belly dancing class, get into Nia again, maybe do salsa and swing, and continue walking. I'm only letting myself go to Torchy's or any taco stand/food cart once a week. That's going to be tough for sure. Really, I want to focus more on my exercise.

Wish me luck. I'm gonna need it.

Doctors have hearts sometimes, actually.

I went to the doctor again on Monday. I wasn't sure what I was going back for, but I went anyway. I forgot that she put me on a temporary steroid over a weekend to see how I would respond to it (which explains the 48-hour urine sample. . . that had to be refrigerated. . . and the top kept getting loose somehow. . . Yeah, not a fun weekend for me or my refrigerator. Let's just say it is REALLY clean now.). The good news was that I responded well to the medication, so should I run into any issues when baby-making-time comes up, I can use something to help me. Then, she said I need to lose weight because if I don't, I will be diabetic in TEN years. (Cue: slight internal freak out.)

We finished our brief conversation ($40 co-pay for 15 minutes, gotta love the medical field) and I left. It kind of hit me as I was talking to my mom that my doctor who is normally pretty blunt and only-to-the-point actually shared some emotional concern for me. That said a lot to me. So, I bought all of the fruit I could find (literally), and had a fruit and queso day to get it all out of my system. I restarted the South Beach Diet yesterday, and with the exception of a few bites of things, I have done pretty well for the past 2 days. That's all I can ask for - one day at a time.

I'm challenging myself in a strange way to see if all of these super healthy Austin-y things will actually do what they are supposed to do. I'm dubbing it "Keep Austin Weird Challenge." (Super creative. . . I know.) My loose plan is going to be this: Incorporate 2 tablespoons of extra virgin coconut oil into each day, use local honey for one cup of hot tea, stay away from Splenda if I can help it and instead use agave nectar or other natural forms of low GI sweetners that aren't sugar/HFCS/etc., drink kombucha more (at least 8 oz. daily/every other day), do yoga a few times a week, and maybe even throw in some acupuncture once a month. Why not? If all of these things are supposed to help, then I can only benefit from them. If they don't help as much, then maybe I can find some other things to do. I just know that I need to change some things - ok, a lot of things - so I'm not sitting here in 10 years with some sob story about how I should have listened to my seemingly emotionless doctor when she actually tried to care about me. So, I'm going to try these things out for 2 months from Monday (officially - unofficially, I'm starting now), and I'll update my way on here. Oh, and if you know of any Austin-like things that I should do in addition to these things, leave me a comment.

I just made an amazing recipe from the South Beach Diet: A Taste of Summer Cookbook. I made sea scallops with zucchini, sweet onion, garlic, cherry tomatoes, edamame, and fresh basil. It was amazing. It was so amazing that the maintenance man at my apartment complex almost begged me for some. He is so funny! I'll update that progress as well.

I'm also looking for a physical challenge to work toward. I'm not a runner, so that's out of the question. I cannot afford a bike right now, but hope to soon. What's something I could do? Help me out. I need suggestions!