Heart attack, stroke, diabetes, organ failure, hypertension, blah blah blah

When am I going to finally get it? I feel like I understand things more and more, but I give up because, well, it's just too easy to not try. Right? But then I keep educating myself on the things that could happen to me later, things that are starting to happen to me right now, and I'm terrified. I see what my family members have gone through with how much pain they have experienced in their lives and how much they allowed their health issues hinder their joy. It seems so simple, but I seem to choose to be lazy. I can't do it anymore.

Here are the facts, the facts that I need to pay attention to - for once and for all.

I'm 24. I have insulin resistance (aka prediabetes) along with polycystic ovarian syndrome, hirsutism, chronic back pain from a herniated spinal disc, a fatty liver, a not-so-great knee, horrible acid reflux, and a heel spur. I think today I'm at 260. This isn't good. And the thing is that 7 out of the 8 things listed can be fixed with a lifestyle change of eating healthy and regularly exercising.

The worst thing about all of this is that it is only getting worse. I'm a wonderful candidate for cancer, heart problems, liver problems, etc. It's great. I'm staring death in the face every day that I decide to be a lazy sack of shit. A slow, debilitating, painful death. Even with a nice make-up job and cute hair, this face of death is not pretty.

So, that's what I'm up against. I realized the other night that when my faith is strongest, it is to get over something. I'm hoping that this time, my faith can get me through something. Changing your life for good is something I'm not great at, obviously, but I keep trying. I have to keep trying no matter what. It's serious. I have to be serious about it. Seriously. (Can I say "serious" again?)

Here's my "plan" for now:
Goal 1 - 20 lbs. by Mom's bday (Jan. 21st) as my gift to her
Goal 2 - 30 lbs. by Dad's bday party (Feb. 20) as my gift to him
Goal 3 - 45 lbs. by parents' anniversary (March 18) as my gift to them
Goal 4 - 50 lbs. by Memorial Day
Goal 5 - 60 lbs. by July 4th

I'll work on other goals after I complete the first 3 of those. I want it to be healthy, but I also just want to feel better. I need to sleep better, too, so I think this should definitely help!

So, needless to say, I'll be doing the South Beach Diet again because I love that diet. I also want to do yoga, start my belly dancing class, get into Nia again, maybe do salsa and swing, and continue walking. I'm only letting myself go to Torchy's or any taco stand/food cart once a week. That's going to be tough for sure. Really, I want to focus more on my exercise.

Wish me luck. I'm gonna need it.