Ramblings and such

So, I don't have diabetes - thank the freakin' LORD! However, I tell myself that I do because I could still develop it one day should I not take care of myself. I'm sure this has been said a time or 2, but it's still good for me to reiterate it.

I've gone to the lengths of literally making myself envision not having toes or limbs due to poor diet control. I know, it's a bit extreme, but it has helped, obviously. Now, when I see something sugary and delicious like the pastries I work around, I don't think, "Yummmmy sugary goodness!" I think, "Walking with a cane when I'm 75 because I can barely move my legs." Yeah, it's not so appetizing after that.

My hopes with this are that one day, I can have children who make the correct decisions for themselves. They will see me struggle with this daily, no doubt, but hopefully, they will see how much richer my life is for being disciplined and making wise choices so I can be with them. At this point, I'm not even sure if I'm going to have children. Physically, I am unable at the moment, and emotionally, I'm not sure if I want to have them one day. There are so many health problems that I have that I wouldn't want to bring someone else into, so that's something I will need to contend with when the time comes. Granted, I want babies, but I may just adopt and save a person a lifetime of medical bills. That's really difficult, either way.

On a much, much lighter note, I've been cooking a lot of Italian food lately. I'm pretty much convinced that I'm the most amazing chef ever! :) It's pretty good, I must say. Gina taught me how to make her Nana's sauce today. I have eaten a bowl of the sauce alone. It's pretty incredible, and I can't wait to make stuff with it. Last Monday, my friend Whitney and I made a delicious meal: homemade (not by me) onion coriander pappardelle pasta topped with sun-dried tomatoes, chicken, fresh mozzarella, and homemade (by me!) sun-dried tomato and basil pesto. Holy mother of Mary's baby. It was INCREDIBLE. It was HEALTHY! We were happy. Apparently, I still am.

I consider myself a salad chef for the most part. I loooove to experiment with salads, but I've been experimenting more and more with Italian food. I hope it doesn't stop because it is a) delicious, b) less expensive than eating out, c) fun to make, d) healthy, and e) making me happpppyyy!!! YAY!

Ok, enough of that. I'm sure I will write more about this later.