Balancing Act: I Am What I Eat

Quick correction to the last post: I was on Day 28, not 27! That's a good mistake.

One thing I've come to realize throughout this journey is that my eating choices and habits are direct reflections of my life balance and imbalance. I am what I eat, essentially, so if I am feeling chaotic, I'll eat something that resembles just that. If I'm feeling great and happy and stable, I choose the foods to follow that as well. It gets really tricky when I'm stressed out because I won't put eating correctly (or sometimes, even eating at all) as a priority to the task at hand. If I have a dress that takes 6 hours to complete and I literally only have 6 hours, I won't even "waste" time to use the restroom much less feed myself anything substantial. Those times may be ahead of me in the future, too, but my hope is that I will learn some balance in all areas of my life to maintain a healthy lifestyle all around.

Before this juice fast, I could eat almost anything packaged or processed, mostly due to their nostalgic value. My favorite babysitter growing up would give us Vienna sausages, highly processed cheese, Chef Boyardee, Easy Mac, etc. and I loved it! I thought it was great! Even in recent history, I would make a snap decision to get a large order of onion rings from Sonic just because the craving hit me. I'd eat them with ranch, and I'm pretty sure Sonic puts sugar in their batter. (Breading doesn't normally taste that sweet!) Afterwards, I had zero energy and I felt really gross for consuming something that was fried, fattening, and sugar-coated. Often, I would need a nap afterwards so my body could cope with the shock to my system. Truthfully, though, I could probably eat some of that stuff today. But do I really want to? That's a big fat HELL NO, but honestly, is the rest of fast food any better? Would I grab a burger and fries from some place like P. Terry's? Maybe. They're pretty delicious, and even though they are touted as a "healthy fast food," I'm not sure that's a place I need to go when I'm in a bind. Luckily, there's Snap! Kitchen, which I forget about too often, and Whole Foods and Central Market both have prepared foods areas I can grab from if I'm in a hurry. Thundercloud and Subway aren't the worst, but I do have to watch that I don't just put a ton of meat and cheese on a sub with a little bit of lettuce and call it a meal. I'm hoping to train my body to crave more plant fuel than animal or bread fuel, mainly as a result of the past 34 days of feeling amazing and full of good energy. Oh, and another cool, relatively mindless alternative to fast foods: Juice! I have virtually no excuse to resort to processed, pre-packaged foods again because I know that I can live off of juice if I need a meal, and juicing takes only a few minutes.

Balance is really important to maintaining a healthy lifestyle, and the connection to food is absolutely related to my daily life. I look forward to re-learn healthy choices as each day progresses and to realize that I am in control of my future through every single healthy, nutritious, delicious bite - or sip!

Bright today, bright future.

I'm writing this from the Atlanta airport as I wait to board my flight back to Austin. My juicer is safely tucked away in my checked baggage. I've been away from Austin on a 6-day trip in Georgia with my family, and I must admit there were very tempting times that made me want to put a pause to my juice fast. As I head home, I can proudly state that I did not break my fast the entire time!

Food is more social than it is fuel for almost everyone, especially my family. I love to connect over great food with people in general, but something about a big meal really brings families together. It's been a huge part of my family interactions. We always ate dinner together at the kitchen table where we would sit, for hours sometimes, just talking and eating whatever deliciousness my mom prepared for us. I grew up with incredible food, although I was a picky eater for most of my life until I started traveling internationally at 19. We have a close family, and our parents brought us up with the notion to appreciate everything that we have - especially food. When we had family gatherings involving my mom's extended family and a few adopted family members, everyone would cook something! My uncles and brothers and their friends would barbecue, while the ladies would prepare the other stuff. If you want to see a feast, just come to my house at least once a year when the family comes to town. It's pretty amazing and delicious!

With that said, I don't recall ever pacing myself at our get-togethers. I've never known a time with the family where my stomach didn't hurt from being stuffed with slow cooked barbecue, broccoli slaw, and some form of dessert, most likely banana pudding or Ms. Donna's cake from Heaven. I always prepared ahead of time to wear my stretchy pants. This trip was different, though. I drank my fresh juice while talking to my family members. Most people understood why I am doing what I'm doing, other implored me to take a break for just one night [Read: Horrible idea.]. It's a little awkward to just not eat around my family at times, but once I explained everything, I was met with encouragement and respect. Seems as though the toughest people I know could "never do something like that." I begged to differ, but it did give me a tiny sense of pride.

I've concluded that after these 60 days are up (currently on Day 27), I will literally be able to do anything I want. I have been tested and passed with flying colors so far that I really view the next 33 days as a breeze. My body is responding very well to this process and I feel happier, lighter, and brighter than ever before, and that's just today! I'm gladly anticipating the next month or so as my body, mind, and spirit grow with the changes and excitement of learning more and more about self-healing and wellness as I stay on this magical journey.

Juice Fast 2012: So, what AM I doing?!

It's Day 13 and I feel amazing. My skin is glowing. My body feels so free and wonderful. My head is clear. My heart is lifted. I feel like I'm in love or something! It's great! I'm lovin' life, livin' the dream like my roommate says. While all of that is true, I'd like to let my readers know what it is that I am actually doing with this juice fasting while clearing up some misconceptions and answering some FAQ's.

What is a juice fast? It's just that: juice! But it's not just any juice. I can't go to the grocery store and pick up a bottle of orange juice and drink a few glasses of it through the day and survive. [File that under: Worst Idea Ever.] The juice concoctions I drink 4 times a day are made up of most vegetables and a few fruits and are made fresh right before I drink them. Sometimes, I'll make juice ahead of time if I know I'll be away from the juicer for an extended period of time, but those are rare occasions.

Why can't I have more fruit juices in my juice recipes? I have a condition known as insulin resistance. In a nutshell, my pancreas produces too much insulin for my body to store safely, so if those levels are elevated by consuming high amounts of sugar (natural and artificial), the insulin floodgate is released open and my body turns the excess hormones into fat. Sugars are dangerous for me in large amounts, so drinking mostly fruit juice is actually defeating the purpose of why I am doing the juice diet in the first place. This is why I will add only a few pieces of fruit to my juice at a time to regulate my blood sugar and keep my body stable.

Is juicing 4 times a day healthy? This is a tricky question to answer as there are varying opinions, but for me and what I am doing, absolutely. My 4 juice concoctions add up to at least 1200 calories, and one needs at least 1200 calories per day for his/her body to stay out of starvation mode. I may not be eating solid foods, but I am definitely not starving myself! Each one of my recipes has all of the micronutrients my body needs each day to live a healthy life.

Do I have enough energy from just consuming plant juice all day? More than enough! It's amazing how much more energy I have now since I've removed all of the bad crap out of my daily diet and just rely on Mother Nature's fresh goodness. I also exercise, so that helps, too!

How much weight have I lost? In 12 days, I've lost about 10 lbs. I'm currently in a plateau, but that isn't surprising to me as this has been my natural rhythm of changing my diet for most of my life.

What is my favorite juice recipe? 2 comice pears + 2 medium fennel bulbs = Heaven in your mouth. I only juice this once a week. It's like my special treat.

What will I do after the juice fast? I will be cooking more at home, limiting my intake of simple carbs, gluten, dairy, and processed sugar. I will be focusing more on lean meats, fish, and lots of fresh veggies with some fresh fruits. I will also continue to exercise daily. Most people are concerned that when this fast is over, I will gain back all of my weight and then some. It's true that most people do that when they go on crash diets. I will not discount that at all. The difference between myself and those people is that they go back to their unhealthy lifestyle they lived before starting something this drastic. I am educated in what I need to do for my body and I had already started implementing those things into my life before this juice fast. I've lost about 15 lbs. total since the middle of January just by getting myself in a healthy mindset towards wellness.

I would love to answer any questions you may have! Just post them in a comment and I'll update the full page! Thank you for reading. :)

Perspective!

Life is so much about perspective. That's something I'm learning about right now. Day 5 of the juice fast is amazingly better than the past 4 days. It keeps getting easier and easier! Hooray-ray! I'm also on Day 24 of going to the gym. Let me just tell you one thing:

I feel amazing.

I really, really do. I'm making the best decisions for myself right now and I couldn't be happier or more proud of myself for everything that I'm doing and everything that I'm NOT doing.

The juice fast has been really hard and it felt like the first few days were dragging by. Visions of steak and turkey meat would linger in my head. Sandwiches of long ago would call out to me, begging for a remembrance taste. I have wanted to eat vegetables off the floor because they looked so damn good! Yesterday, I went to a friend's housewarming party and chili cookoff. It took everything in me to avoid motorboating every pot of chili on their kitchen counter, the brownies, too! Alas, I stayed faithful to my commitment, and I was proud of myself afterward for using some hardcore self-restraint. In that, I also realized that, yes, food is incredibly social, but it doesn't mean I have to partake to be present and active in the conversations. My friends were amazingly gracious with me as everyone understood what I was doing and why I was doing it, so it was a really great occasion all around. Happy housewarming, Bret & Shrie! You have such a beautiful home! And happy victory to me!

Speaking of social, just today at the gym, I made a new friend! I wanted to challenge myself to run 20 minutes at 4.5 speed on the treadmill because I've never gone that fast for that long. I did it, for the most part! I had to back down when I got some cramps around 10 minutes, but I was back up there within the next 4 minutes and I finished strong. It felt great! What felt better, though, was how the sweet lady 2 machines away stopped me as I was cleaning the machine to tell me that my workout motivated her to work harder. It really goes to show that you never know who is watching and how you can make a positive impact on their life! We are gonna have gym lady dates in the future, which I've had lately with some great friends of mine. Shout out to Gina, Liz, and Sunny for being great gym dates this past week!

So, what does this have to do with perspective? Everything! I decided to challenge myself with a 60 day juice fast and to work out every single day because those are things I've never done before, nor have I had any positive feelings about doing those things. They are working for me now because all I had to do was change my perspective, commit to it, and see the positive results. I've made some other changes in my life that deal with perspective as well, and I've already seen some great outcomes from just giving things a chance, mainly just giving myself a chance.

Happy Sunday! <3.

Disclaimers!

Ok, guys. I'm going to hash a few things out right now. *best cheerleader voice* Ready?! Ok!

1) This blog is about brutal honesty. It is the place where I come to let people know about my health topics and concerns. It is the place where I try things out and let people know how I felt about them, how I connected with them, and what I learned, etc. This especially includes what I learn about myself. Whatever comes to my mind, I will share. I reserve that right. I also reserve the right to censor myself, but I will not censor myself at the will of someone else.

2) This blog does not have anything to do with my business. Yes, I may talk about my business because, occasionally, I do allow myself to have an unhealthy relationship with it at times (Hi! I'm an entrepeneur!), but this blog is not to be connected with my business as a whole. It is a separate entity, and I trust you will view it as such.

3) Even if I talk about health concerns regarding my body, including losing weight, my view of beauty and my personal body image does not conform to a societal standpoint. What I'm really trying to say is that I believe all people are beautiful - it doesn't matter how big or small or tall or short or what color any person may be, I believe that all people are beautiful in their own special, unique, individual ways. My standard of beauty will always be this. That said, I will always believe that I am beautiful, at any size, now and forever, no matter what.

4) If you'd like to date me, that's great. This may not be the best place to get to know me, unless you really would like to know the weird depths of my heart without me telling you first. I know I'm great and awesome and all that and a bag of (kale) chips, but stop stalking me and start calling me if you're into me. On the flipside, if you thought you were into me until you read this blog, I'm actually completely fine with that, and thank you for not calling me. [See! Everything works out. :)]

5) I want to hear from my readers! I may not get back to everyone in the most timely manner because, well, that's just how I roll sometimes, but feel free to comment or send me messages. I get messages almost every time I update, and that is so encouraging to me. I love knowing that my voice is being heard and that I'm not alone, so feel free to share with me anything you'd like! I want you to feel heard as well. However, I'm not a therapist, nor have I ever claimed to be, so take everything I say with a grain of whiskey. [Providing awesome advice already! Way to go, A!]

6) I may talk about the things I'm trying here, but most of it is experimental. There are only a few things that I actually believe I could stick to, but really, I'm just here to share. I am not blogging to spread any sort of propaganda. I'm just a lady, talking about her body. That's really it. You don't have to do what I do, but I may encourage you to get yourself in check if you feel you may need to. If I set an example for you, that is wonderful! If I don't, that's wonderful, too! Either way, thank you for reading.

That's all I can really think of at the moment! Many thanks to my aunt for reminding me that I should make this post. I hope it clears up any confusion for those who may be reading this! I heart you all, and I'm excited to make another post in the near future.

<3.

A

Documentaries will kick your ass. Lesson learned.

My roommate encouraged me to start a 60 day juice fast with her - after I watched the documentary "Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead." I fought the idea in lots of ways, but then I actually decided to see what her tarot cards said in order to make a decision. I am totally not kidding - I used Gaia Oracle tarot cards to show me the answer, and there it was, pretty much plain as day. The next step was to watch the documentary.

I'm playing the film for the second time as I type this. I strongly believe in repetition as a way of learning, so I will most likely play the film on repeat for the upcoming days, and then some more as we start our fast just as a motivator. 60 days of no chewing is going to be difficult, but I've actually done something like this before.

During the summer of my 6th-7th grade transition, I did a smoothie fast for 40 days, or at least, close to 40 days. I was excited, but nervous, especially about my cheerleading camp that summer. I wondered if I would have enough energy to do everything that was required of me at camp. It turned out that I had more energy than I'd ever had before, and I ended up becoming one of the 2 UCA All-Star Cheerleaders from our squad. Now, I realize this was just cheerleading - as a middle schooler - but this was huge. I was never one to win anything athletic, and I remember being able to do things that week I had never done before... and haven't done since, truth be told. I did jumps like I weighed 75 lbs. I truly surprised myself.

Fast forward to a year and a few months later, I was diagnosed with Insulin Resistance (aka Metabolic Syndrome, Syndrome X, Prediabetes, etc.) after telling my mom I had chin hairs like she did. She didn't believe me until I showed them to her (I would pull them out, so we had to wait for them to grow in again for proof), so we went to the doctor, did some blood work and many, many tests (I've got NO LOVE for glucose tolerance tests!), and the diagnosis was made for both of us. It was saddening, and I remember my doctor telling me that if I continued down the path I was on, I would develop cancer and not be able to bear children. That was a pretty sad truth for a 14-year-old.

I'm 26 now. I exercise often. I eat pretty well whenever I cook at home, which can be sometimes infrequent. I drink a ton of coffee. I don't sleep very much. I feel pretty good most of the time, but there are times where I don't. I'm constantly craving rest and often lacking energy. My weight has gone up, many thanks to my lack of self-control at Christmas (homemade cookies by old Southern ladies were my ultimate weakness), but I'm not concerned about my weight, really. Perhaps, I should be as there is a direct correlation between the number on the scale and my Insulin Resistance, which has led to Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, which has led to Hirsutism - the cause of the hair on my chinny chin chin. Ok. So, maybe I am concerned about my weight a bit more since I put it that way.

This documentary started out with a man believing that his body could heal itself. He proved that it can. I believe that it can as well. I believe that my Insulin Resistance, Polycystic Ovarian Syndrom, Hirsutism, Chondromalacia Patella, Heel Spurs, and herniated L4/L5 spinal disk will heal themselves. I'll jump start that process on February 13 for 60 days.

I'm excited. :)

Big word, big responsibility

So, I may have commitment issues. I'm sure this comes as no surprise to people who know me. I like to try new things, see how I like them, and then I discover newer things and start the same process over again. Routine is not something I've ever admired. I adore change. I'm Sagittarius, what can I say? Free-spirited. Exploratory. Open minded. Needless to say, commitment is one of the scariest words ever uttered.

It took a while for me to fully commit to and assume the responsibility of my business, but as a natural entrepreneur, it didn't take too much. I have found that I may over-commit to my business, allowing my health and relationships to fall by the way side and ultimately, creating a pretty major imbalance. It's pretty obvious how my commitment issues are affecting my life, namely my health.

And then my roommate and I adopted a puppy- a living, breathing, super adorable puppy named Fitzgerald, who now simultaneously scratches at the door of her kennel and at the door of my once unchained heart. That's a huge commitment, literally barking at my face. It is terrifying. BUT! It's a great thing.

Fitzgerald is a puppy, as you know, and puppies need training. This training process isn't just for her, but it's for me, too. There is a schedule involved. Repetition is an important tool. As she adjusts to what to do, what not to do, when and where to do what, etc., I'm also adjusting to being one of the providers for her new lifestyle of being our puppy. This process is making me see the importance of schedules and routines and the roles they play in a healthy, happy lifestyle for myself. Discipline, discernment, and guidance are 3 things I'm learning to administer and obtain at the same time. We've had her less than a week, but I definitely feel as though I've grown as a human just as she has grown as a puppy. (She's the most adorable thing ever, by the way. Check up on her at her very own tumblr.)

There will be many adventures as I reflect on this creature's co-dependence on my life. I feel like a parent in a way, which I'm sure is still pretty far off from real parenting with real kids. After all, I am still a real person with a real puppy! Stay tuned for some pretty adorable madness.

(I love this dog so, so much, you guys. Seriously.)